seldomifever: (behind)
We had son's CSE meeting today, and had no trouble coming to an agreement over how to handle his transition to middle school. This was refreshing. All of the support service providers seemed grateful for the Asperger's diagnosis. I guess it will help, even though I'm still not convinced it is accurate. But, if it makes it easier for him to get more services, why should I care?

Husband and I are walking away from yet another potential home on the Cape. We settled on a 3 season condo in Wellfleet that was well within our price range, but, it turns out, banks don't want to offer 30 yr fixed rates on them any more. Husband's finally met his emotional torture quotient and wants to take a break from house hunting, which is more than fine with me. You all know how much I believe in fate. We'll just have to console ourselves with banalities: If it is meant to be, it's meant to be. Besides, we'll never be able to afford anything as nice as the house we're already renting by the lake, and we're happy there.

I've been oggling this clip of our Mr. Head all day. Inna he cute?
seldomifever: (giles/ru)
Had great plans for the day, but never followed through on any of them. Now I have half scattered projects everywhere and I'm sleepy. Yearg.

House hunting is sapping all of my strength. We bid on our two favorites from this past trip, but the owners are holding out for more than we want/have to give. We decided long ago to stick to our guns and not grow panicky, because that's how you get burned, but I would really like to end this search now. Husband is a bit of a pain about it. Always going on about investments and tax somethings or others. I don't get it. I don't want to get it. And I don't want to do this any more, but I am going to stay cool and remain supportive even though I really really really really really cannot stand looking/bidding/haggling any more. Meh.

Oh, man, and I was sorry to read that Anthony Head's father and Sarah Fisher's mother passed away last month. That's gotta be rough. They have my sympathies.
seldomifever: (oh)
We're lying in bed freezing here in this turn of the century hotel in Chatham, MA. It's been cold and rainy all day, and spending it getting drenched as we looked at house after house has left us both chilled to the bone. We've cranked the heat in this old room, but its weak output is hardly worth its rattle. Would much rather be listening to crashing waves and whipping wind, but whadda ya gonna do? It's fucking cold.

We found two houses we're considering making bids on, but we need to look them over again on Monday before we can make a decision. We spent dinner going over the pros and cons of each, trying to remember what made those two stand out above the rest. I have to say, choosing a house is torture for me. I am seriously afraid of the commitment. What if owning a house here ruins the Cape for us? What if we buy and regret it? What if the polar ice caps melt and the ocean levels rise so high that our investment is worthless in the next fifty years?

Husband stopped me. Said, "If we're lucky, we're gonna live for eighty years. We're already halfway through. It's not going to matter if the land is under water in fifty."

Huh. He has a point.

I want to be brave. I want to be decisive. And I'm sure that any day now I will be, but, in the mean time, I can't help but think about the fact that our yard here is sure to be filled with ticks. And not just any ticks - those eensy ones that are so small I will never be able to see without the help of my reading glasses that I hardly ever remember to wear, because I still think of myself as having perfect vision, even though it's been fairly obvious for the past couple of years that my eyesight is not what it used to be. And, honestly? Even if I did remember that I needed glasses, I would never be able to find them, because I have a terrible habit of continually misplacing them, so, you see, it's really only a matter of time before one of us gets Lyme disease. Buying a house in Eastham won't seem like such a brilliant plan then, now, will it?
seldomifever: (scruffy)
My kids have only one day left of school this week. I love the Passover/Easter break for its length, if nothing else. Eleven days with hardly any obligations. Hm-hmm. Well, there's Easter, I suppose, but since husband and I will be out of town for it, I haven't really given it much thought. We're going to drive up to Chatham on Friday sans les enfants, so we can house hunt without the constant moaning that usually accompanies these trips. My husband feels guilty for taking two days off and not spending them with the kids, but I feel positively gleeful at the prospect of having some time alone. I love going away and pretending that I'm free. And then I love coming home and relishing in the fact that I am not.
seldomifever: (manchild)
My daughter has decided to teach herself to play the real drums by following along on the practice option of Rock Band. I have now listened to the first 40 seconds of Roxanne 600x in the past two hours. Urg. She does sound pretty incredible, though. She's been playing expert on drums for the past few months, and somehow it is translating into real life drumming skillz. Man, she's so damn cute, I could squeeze the stuffing right outta her. Is there anything on this earth cooler than a girl drummer? Uh-uh.

Have decided to skip reccing today. No good reason, just not in the mood. Can I tell you how pathetic it feels to still care about the site when nearly no one else does? But I want it to survive. And I want people to continue to love it as much as I do.

Spent the day feeling like I'm coming down with another cold. Normally this would depress me, but today it is just making me want to nap or cuddle up with a good book. I've been sorting through my shelves and I came across an unread copy of The Handmaid's Tale. Lord knows how long I've owned it. I have no memory of buying it, but its Costco price tag tells me it must have been an impulse buy one summer when I was looking for something to bring to the Cape. Buy most books in July, just before we go. We may take another stab at looking at houses there this weekend. Now that we're definitely moving our boat from the Sound to Cape Cod Bay, we've fallen back in love with the idea of owning a piece of land on which to store it. Must be flat and cleared, and have a year-round house with at least three bdrms, a fireplace, and 2 bths so we won't have to take turns. Also, there's a Must Not Be Frightening rule that gives me full veto power if I think it's gonna creep me out to go up alone (read: with three kids, a dog, a cat, and a bunny). I scare easily.

havering

Nov. 30th, 2008 09:52 pm
seldomifever: (b/g)
Husband and I house hunted all weekend, giddily leaving dei Kinder with the in-laws whilst we skeddadled skedooed throughout the Happy Valley for hours on end. Was like taking a mini-tour of our early sex lives: "Ooh, and that's where we..." Each house had its charms and its deficits. We're continually forced to redefine our needs and desires. At this point, I'm ready to make bids willy nilly just to free ourselves from The Search. Nearly any of the houses we visited would make fine second homes if we could only get the owners to take about 50 thou less than asking.

Our most beloved Christmas tree farmer squeaked another year out of his tired old field, so we were delighted to leave South Deerfield with another perfect balsam today. Can you believe tomorrow is already December 1st? There's much to do, but I find I'm actually looking forward to the holidays in a way I haven't for years. I can practically hear my grinchy heart whalping as it thaws.

Oh oh oh and I read the best book this weekend: Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister. It's been ages since I've enjoyed a story this much. Could hardly put it down. Wonderful, wonderful!

Hope you all enjoyed your weekend as much as we enjoyed ours. :)
seldomifever: (giles/ru)
Our last day. Usually by now I am ready to return and face the realities vacation allows me to avoid, but this year, I don't want to leave. Three weeks doesn't feel like enough time. There's so much more that I want to do here. I won't miss eating out every day. That gets old pretty fast. We could cook, but we never do when we're here. One big meal and lots of snacking is standard Cape Cod fare. You know it's bad when your children are saying things like "Ice cream again?" Yes, ice cream, and you're gonna eat it or you won't get any supper later.

We spent too much time looking at houses, but the fact that we're leaving without owning one makes me a little sad. Probably because we'll have to keep driving up here whenever the realtor thinks she's found "the one", and that's gonna suck. I hope she understands what we like and don't like well enough to choose wisely before asking us to drive all this way. She's pretty sharp, so I am putting my faith in her. Plus, realtors on the Cape work for you. In NY, they only represent the seller, and they're always turning the screws, but here they seem more apt to really listen.

We have to pop over and pick up our pup this morning. Having him in a kennel has worked out far better than I'd expected. I miss him, but I don't miss the work of doggie ownership. S'like having a baby in many ways, and now that my children are finally older, it's a kind of a drag to have to take a step backwards.

What does it mean when nearly every aspect of your real life fills you with dread? I'm thinking that's not so good. I wish we were people who could just decide to live a more alternative lifestyle already. We have several friends who do, and they seem pretty happy, but that's never a true litmus test, is it? I mean, anybody can seem happy. Heck, if you weren't privy to my bellyaching, you might see me and say, "My, there goes a happy lady." Hm. Probably not.
seldomifever: (b/g)
I feel strangely optimistic about the chances of us getting this house we're bidding on, which isn't like me. Not usually one to let myself feel hopeful when the odds are against us, but still. I've got a good vibe going. If we don't get it, it's no big whoops, but this house would be da bomb. Town approved 5 bdrm septic systems are like gold in these parts. Impossible to get unless grandfathered in, and rarely within a price range we can afford. Septic systems are more repulsive to me than just about anything, and the fact that the water in these towns all comes from wells is quadruply gross when you think about it. Yech. I'd want some sort of reverse osmosis filter installed as soon as we could afford it.

Only four full days left here. Sadness. Worst part is that husband will not be around as much. We've grown accustomed to his face. Hurts like heck when he's gone fourteen+ hours a day for months on end. Sigh.
seldomifever: (giles/ru)
House hunting has taken over the relaxing part of our vacation. We've spent the past few days looking at several homes in Eastham, one in Orleans, and one in Wellfleet. They range from large five bedrooms to little three bdrms, from fixer-uppers to homes in perfect condition. What draws us to one house over another? We thought location would matter more than anything, but have since learned that we can't accept busy, noisy roads just for a view. We're more apt to like huge handyman specials than smaller anything elses, but also feel as though a house that needs little to no work would be best for us. We're willing to sacrifice Wellfleet for Eastham homes that run about a hundred thousand dollars less. What to do, what to do? We're going to talk to the nice realtor lady and see if the bid someone else made on the five bedroom has fallen through, and then we'll prolly take in a few more homes before finalizing our decision. Is buying a second home worth the expense? We love it here. Would that change if we could come whenever we wanted? Dunno. But now's the time to do this, while our kids are young and interest rates are good. Land is probably the best investment you could ever make--God's not making any more. At least nothing we'd be able to use any time soon. But I am afraid. Always feel as though there's a right and a wrong decision, even though I know that's just not the way the world works.

And please, someone, tell me that Of Demons and Destiny is not gone for good. I'll be devastated if this is true. Who ran the site? How do we plead for its return?
seldomifever: (16yroldb/g)
We finally made it over to the public library yesterday, after about a week and a half of talking about it. There was a crowd gathered on the porch by the entrance, waiting for the doors to open. Turns out the library is quite the hot spot. Literally. Everyone was there for the computers or the wifi. We were there for the novelty and the middle school summer reading list and the free passes to Plymouth that I completely forgot to ask about. We left with two much-needed books for our soon-to-be eighth grader, three for the littlest, and two YA titles for me. Also helped support the library by picking up a neat canvas tote and sticker. They're trying to raise $30,000 to go solar. Why doesn't our library at home ever do progressive things like that? Something to bring up with the local ptb, perhaps.

We drove through a neighborhood in Eastham yesterday that overlooked a marsh and Rock Harbor that was to die for. And the houses only run about a million and a half. That shouldn't be too difficult to swing when I come back in my next life as David Sedaris. Or maybe if I scrimp and save, and sell my children to the highest bidder, I can have it in this lifetime, too.

Husband wants to look at houses again. He tells me he's going to call realtors today. Not sure why the idea of looking at things we cannot afford depresses me so. He sees it as good fun. I find it anxiety producing. As it is, I've been waking up at four every morning in a state a panic. Not cool. A definite sign that I am not exercising enough up here. Moving frees my brain, and the past week has been a bit on the lazy side. Maybe we'll hike the Fort Hill trail today, if it's not too sticky.

Came across this website after looking up le petit mort, and then following the links. "See also" has taken on a whole knew meaning on the net. Who on earth would have imagined there would be sites devoted to this crap? Fucked up.

(This post's title is brought to you by Scott Nash's Tuff Fluff, and by the number 3. Both big hits with the boys.)

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